HOT Christmas

by | Dec 15, 2021

As a Southern Hemisphere Christmas experiencer, the irony of burning up in a bikini by the pool while “Frosty the snowman” plays softly in the background is never lost on me. We lick ice lollies, cut out paper snowflakes to flutter in the hot, African breeze, go to the beach and decorate our houses, shops and work places with snow globes and sleighs. We spray our windows with snow-spray, watch it slowly melt its way down to the cotton wool laid on the sill and the closest we get to snowflakes poetically landing on our eyelashes is the sunblock that gets in our eyes while building a ‘sandman’. We try to wear cute, Christmas jerseys until the profuse sweating, prematurely induced by the bourrie on the braai gets too much and we’re forced to change into swimming costumes. There is always some poor grandpa, sweating it out in a thick, red Christmas suit complete with winter boots, a beard and a hat handing out presents as fast as he can to get to the ice cold beer waiting for him at the end of the ordeal. Perhaps South African Santa should have a white, fluff lined speedo…maybe not! Well, this year we’d like to share with you what we’d like to think is the next, world famous Christmas Carol! You already know the tune, so throw away that cup of hot chocolate even if it does have the mini marshmallows in it, and get yourself a nice, cold glass of Milo and a bag of biltong and sing along with us!

Singing ‘bout the snow
In a cozzie on the beach
A braaiing we will go
Two watermelons each

Sand on sunburn sting
Making Jemi cry
Just slap on some aftersun
And hang her out to dry

Oh! Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way
Christmas in South Africa
On a scorching summer’s day

Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to swim,
In the salty ocean spray

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